the holidays aren't complete without a trip to the ER

This is the toy responsible for all the trouble. I don't know what possessed her, but Naomi felt compelled to shove a small piece of green fun foam up her left nostril yesterday. When I asked her why, all she could come up with was, "I didn't want it on the couch." Somehow, in her barely four-year-old brain that made sense. She came running up the stairs crying hysterically, blood pouring down her face, I was terrified, I had no idea what she'd been up to. To make matters worse, Michael was at work, meaning we were at home with no car, and on top of that we were in the middle of a freezing rain storm. I did the only thing I could do, I called my blessed friend Sandra to bail us out (yet again), and off we went to the Emergency Room. Once the initial panic wore off, she was even calm enough to nap on the drive to the city, and played happily enough with another stricken child in the waiting area. But it would not end that simply, oh no. She rammed that thing up there good and tight. The poor thing was (justifiably)terrified, asking me how they would get it out. Well, for a time it seemed even the medical professionals weren't quite sure what to do, as the first attempts using suction and then pincers were not only unsuccessful, but made matters much worse for poor Naomi's state of mind. Oh, god, it was awful. I hate to lie to my child, but she kept asking if it would hurt. I hate to see her cry, she hardly ever does, and I'm not sure she has cried that much ever in one day. It was all I could do not to cry myself, as it took two of us to pin her arms and secure her head as she was screaming in fear, saying, "it hurts, it hurts!" The first doctor couldn't get it out, so they sent in the ENT specialist (some guy young enough to be my boy-toy love-slave. His class ring was dated '06, I hate it that doctors and lawyers and other professionals I might need can now be younger than me, when did that happen?!). He couldn't get it either on the first attempt. Now Naomi is truly freaking out. I had to bribe her with everything I could think of: unlimited viewing of her favourite Scooby-Doo video, popcorn, and chocolate ice cream. In the end they had to use 3 drugs: 1 to sedate her (that one left her stoned and stumbling like a drunk afterwards), one to numb her nose, and one to shrink the nasal tissues. It still took a few attempts, but finally, a squishy, bloody, green fun foam rectangle emerged.

I have now officially earned my mommy wings. And I did let her watch her video and make her popcorn today, with a promise of ice cream for tomorrow, true to my word.