Tuesday 1 January 2008

Mission Statement

Did you ever want to lend a helping hand? Did you ever just need to get away?

For any new readers who aren't familiar with my story:

Four years ago I had a beautiful baby girl, Naomi. Then I got sick with constant migraines and post-partum depression, which continued for over 2 years. I started having a kind of mid-life crisis, disappointed that I hadn't reached goals I had set for myself. I always wanted to work in the developing world, doing some small measure of good. I have degrees in international development and sociology, and yet I never found an opportunity to put these to use in the field. Four days after Naomi turned one, on my husband's birthday, the Tsunami happened, breaking my heart even more. I could no longer sing lullabies to my daughter at night without starting to tear up, thinking of all those children, washed away. I clung tight to my baby girl, blessed that we are so fortunate to have her.

I couldn't work, I was on as many as 9 medications at once (some of the side effects were truly fantastic: eating too much, eating too little, exhaustion, facial twitching, and my personal favourite, hearing voices), I could barely hold myself together, while also going through a painful family crisis with my long-lost father. Financially, things were tough, as my husband and I had worked from home for years, in a business now failing. He got a job in a call centre, where he has quickly risen through the ranks to management, but that too has taken its toll. He suffers from severe headaches, insomnia, and burnout. Partially for the fear that Michael's job might not be enough security for us, after 2 years of trying to find a job myself that pays more than $10/hr, I went back to university last September to do a second master's degree, this time in the field of community health and epidemiology. I hope this leads me closer to my goal of working in the field of health in the developing world. Now between my class schedule, part-time job and Michael's shifts, some days we see each other for as little as 15 minutes a day. We've had a harder and harder time keeping things together, despite nearly 12 years together. We fight more, he becomes more withdrawn, I become more frustrated.

But then we had a revelation, out of the blue. We'll quit this First World, Pop Culture Lite Uncivilization, at least for a little while, and live our dream: we'll volunteer for an NGO called Info-Nepal near Pokhara, Nepal. We'll teach our daughter about compassion; that there is more to life than tv, computer games and Barbie dolls; show her that there are very different ways of living this life. We'll be able to make some small difference working in a village clinic, teaching English and computer skills to local kids, work in an orphanage in one of the poorest countries in the world. And maybe, hopefully, we'll find some personal renewal, strengthen a marriage that really needs a boost.

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