Post-Hurricane Noel

The basement waters have receded after the flood slightly, enough for the plumber to fix the hot water tank ($349), so I'll get back to our story.

Nearly 4 years ago after our daughter was born, things were pretty rough for a while, well, a long while. For years up until then my husband and I had worked from home together, running a small import/export business that allowed us to travel every few years, and a gift shop featuring works by us and other Maritime craftspeople. But since September 11, 2001, we could could no longer rely on the tourism trade, plus we had a new tiny mouth to feed (and cute little bottom to keep in diapers -thankfully those days are over!). For months Michael didn't sleep for all his worrying, and not long after Naomi was born, I got sick. First it was occasional migraines, but then they lasted longer and longer and longer until they just never stopped. I was diagnosed with status migrainous, chronic daily headache, and post-partum depression. In the ensuing years I went through 4 family physicians and saw 3 neurologists, and went through trial and error of dozens of prescription drug combinations. At one point I took 9 different meds just to get through the day, and my headaches still weren't under control. The 2 things that got me through were the love of my husband, which never wavered, and my love for our daughter, who proved to be a bright shining miracle every day.

When Naomi was 10 months old Michael started working nightshift in the city, a big change for us. Having only one car, this meant I was now housebound and alone. As winter wore on I felt so trapped and miserable - there aren't any buses where we live, so I couldn't even go to the grocery store for a change of scenery. I found myself in my 30s with 2 university degrees that had done me no good but to incur thousands of dollars of student loans, far off any path I would have predicted for myself.

It took at least 2 years before my headaches were controlled enough that I could function again. Controlled means maybe 4-6 migraines a month, while continuing to take fistfuls of pills every day. Now my quality of life is almost back normal, but I am still not content with where I am in life. I thought I'd be working for UNICEF or Doctors Without Borders or some other development organization by now, far away from Canadian winters, doing just a little bit of good in the world. That's all I ever really wanted to do, disaster relief or AIDS work, or just be an extra pair of helping hands somewhere they are needed.

Michael never really understood this about me, and was not at all a do-gooder tree-hugging granola type in the least. But being a dad has softened him, but there's still more to his part of the story.