good sabbath

I am a bad Jew. And I find mostly it is because I don't have time to be Jewish, which seems a poor excuse. I don't go to temple, but it's has a lot to do with the fact that the nearest shul is about 25 miles away from my house. I was going to start Naomi in Hebrew school last year, but it would have meant commuting to the city one more day a week (not even including a commute to Saturday services, so really 2 days). Last year, Michael frequently worked weekends, so I would have had to borrow a car to take her, and with him commuting 5 days, me 3 days, and her already spending too much time trapped in her car seat in the back of the car, it just seemed like too much commitment. This year, she has started school, and although I have tried to keep it to a reasonable level of chaos, I have signed her up for music and gymnastics lessons, plus I am teaching children's art lessons, so I bring her along, which means she has a full schedule already, without adding shul and Hebrew school. But I do celebrate most of the Jewish holidays with her at home, I even led a Purim party at her preschool last year (so although Jews don't proselytise, I am ensuring Jewish programming in her class, which I will continue with her in grade primary). And we have started observing shabbat, the Jewish sabbath, in our own small way.

I had been meaning to do this for ages. When I lived in Israel, I usually lit the candles on Friday evenings to signal the beginning of the day of rest. My Israeli friends laughed at me, the convert, more observant than them. Now we aren't talking full observance here, I still went out and drank and smoked and partied all night long, but after my quiet time alone at home with my candles. Even upon my return to Canada, I used to make challah, the traditional Jewish sabbath bread, every Friday. But all that had long gone by the wayside, drinking, smoking, partying, and the candles too. But then last year at hanukkah, Naomi loved the candles so much I thought it would be a good idea to be a little Jewish every week, and light the candles on Fridays. Except I am so scattered and absent-minded, a lot of the time I am really unaware of what day of the week it is, so I would forget. But finally, over a month ago now, I remembered one Friday as I was setting the table, wiped the dust off the beautiful candlesticks I was given by a Jewish friend as a wedding gift, dug out some (kosher!) candles, and after some scrounging around, found a match, and we had our first sabbath candle lighting. I told Naomi she would have to help me remember to do this every Friday, and Wednesday morning, the first sentence out of her sleepy mouth was, "Don't forget to light the candles on Friday mommy!" And so together, we remembered, and the next week, and the next. Then I went all out, and baked challah, from scratch (but I did use a breadmaker to mix the dough), with Naomi's help:
And the more I thought about it, the more I realized, we need a sabbath. There's a day of rest tradition for a reason. Our lives are so hectic, we need to remember to take time out just to relax, be present, and be with each other. Especially now, with the new routine of early mornings to make the schoolbus at 7:26, I go back to university next week, Michael is doing a training course this month - we can hardly find the time to find each other. So although I can't commit to the full day off from work and activities and errands (I really don't have the time), I can do my level best to sit down to a nice meal at the kitchen table at least once a week, and on Fridays, light the candles, as millions of others begin their Friday evening according to the very same tradition. And I might even put in an appearance at the temple for the High Holidays, which are fast approaching.