Wednesday, 6 August 2008

coins in the fountain...


So a couple of weeks ago I was having a bit of a bad day (okay, that's an understatement, but let's not relive the details), but luckily the meeting that really sealed my mood occurred just before I was to meet my friend Genevieve, who was visiting having time off from her job in Antarctica (no joke, this is one cool lady, in more ways than one). "Let's go out," I said, and so we first ventured to what was once the landmark restaurant known as La Cave in downtown Halifax, world famous for the best cheesecake in the universe. Over creme brulee and gingerbread with not-so-furtive glances exchanged at our fine waiter from time to time, Genevieve helped ease my mind over my mundane troubles. And I was further inspired to embark on another adventure. But let me first set the scene...

Back in my youth, more than 20 years ago, some older friends of mine initiated me into the tradition of scaling the fence of the Public Gardens and entering the night-time world of the park after dark, for the gates are locked at dusk. A lovely manicured Victorian park by day, by night the gardens become a whole other world. A place for lovers, a way to escape the bar culture, peace and quiet, and a place to get into a different kind of trouble. In the mid to late 1980s I would carry this large bag I had made, big enough to carry a bottle of wine and a ouija board in, always at the ready for a midnight adventure. I still have an old ouija board somewhere with a broken corner - the bag got snagged on the fence during one nocturnal raid.

Across the street from the Public Gardens is a large graveyard, which used to be open all the time, until someone was murdered in there in the 1990s. Both Genevieve and I had lived in houses near the graveyard, and we had both used it as a shortcut home on numerous occasions, before the locking of the gates began. As it seemed a more attainable goal (less traffic, more trees to hide behind), we eased ourselves under the gates of the graveyard, and dashed inside. It was a very foggy night, making the cemetary beautifully eery. We found ourselves under a huge concealing tree, which Genevieve eyed with a view to climb, but we just weren't wearing the right shoes, reminiscing about the old days of Halifax, and other tales from our travels over the years. The jaunt into the cemetary was sufficiently emboldening for us to reassess our true goal: the Public Gardens. So we rolled back out under the graveyard gate, no one having noticed our traipsing and trespassing, crossed the street, and proceeded to case the joint. We searched for a good place to go under rather than over behind the cover of two parked tour buses, but no auspicious opening was to be seen. It was while Genevieve was admonishing the ducks for discarding an empty beer bottle she picked up on the grass that the cop car pulled over. And the crazy redhead calls out to assure the cop we hadn't been drinking (which we hadn't), but luckily he had taken no notice of us anyhow. Still, it wasn't exactly the right moment to hop over the fence while the policeman was inspecting the grounds across the street with a flashlight, so we did a loop around the park. On our second pass, the police car had gone. It was do or die. Genevieve had staked her spot, while I looked on not at all convinced we would fit underneath the wrought iron grate at all. But in a flash, she was through - there was nothing for it, so under I went, and there we were, like spies in the night, ducking behind the nearest tree in fits of giggles, and streaking across the open grass to a denser copse of trees further away from the street. And it was as awesome as ever, perhaps more so after a 20 year absence. Sure I've been in there by day, taken Naomi to hear bandstand concerts on Sunday afternoons, fed the ducks in the pond. But this was different. Although the place has changed, having lost many trees to Hurricane Juan in 2003, when we found ourselves on the other side of the fence, I felt like we had gone back in time. Never have I felt so much like I was fourteen years old again! All the worldly cares that had brought me down earlier that evening disappeared.

Genevieve and I imagined the news copy: "...officials were puzzled when breathalyzer and drug tests taken from the two middle aged women caught trespassing in the Public Gardens last Thursday were negative for any illicit substances..."

Now there is another tradition that goes hand in hand with trespassing in the gardens after dark. There is a fountain where passers by throw coins for wishes.

I have often let Naomi rummage through my pockets looking for spare change for this very purpose. But back in the day, it was something of a tradition to strip down to our skivvies, hop into the fountain, and scoop up the coins. Then we would roll our damp silver and pennies, and spend our ill-gotten gains on treats (well, cigarettes, but I have since quit). In the stillness of the park I realized this was most likely the last time I would find myself in the gardens after dark, so there was just one thing left to do: take off my pants and hop into the fountain. Genevieve was close behind. Now we only scooped out a couple of ceremonious, token handfuls, hardly depleting the waters of the wishes they concealed beneath the surface. Genevieve has a better eye for spotting shiny things than I, like 1 and 2 dollar coins (and even a fifty-cent piece!), while I went more for quantity, using a more Hoover-like technique. There is still a dish full of coins on my kitchen table, it contains about $12, which I intend to use to open an RESP for Naomi.

Genevieve is gone now, making her way indirectly back to the South Pole for the winter (well summer, there). Today I could already detect an autumn scent on the August breeze, and soon enough September will be here again. As I return to university Naomi will get on the yellow schoolbus and begin grade primary, and soon enough this one summer adventure will be just one more Midsummer Night's Dream. But for a few moments I laughed again like I was fourteen years old, just like it was 1985, only it was even better.

Tuesday, 15 July 2008

What Would God Wear?


So the other day Naomi asked me what kind of clothes god wears. Now we haven't really talked a whole lot about god. We have celebrated both Jewish and non-Jewish holidays, but god just really hadn't come up, and that was fine with me, as I'm really not quite sure what to tell her about god. She only noticed churches last week, and I don't think she really knows what they're for yet, and I have never taken her to a place of worship. So the other day I did tell her some people believe god made the world, but I'm not sure how much she was paying attention - but then she asked about the clothes. So I said I thought god(s) might not really wear clothes (but the idea of god naked was a bit too funny), but if they did, I bet they would be a lot like pyjamas, you know, like the togas of old. But as we gave this some more thought, we agreed maybe a god would like to wear princess dresses or fancy suits. After all, Naomi's favourite outfit at the moment is her Disney Cinderella costume (which is miles too big for her). So wouldn't god want to dress just like that too?

Friday, 4 July 2008

7 jobs and still underemployed...

Okay, so we have been around the world and back, or almost. We flew back to Belfast to visit Naomi's Northern Irish grandmother in mid-May, seeing old friends and family in the North, down South in Dublin and Waterford, with a weeks' holiday in Marmaris, Turkey (that's in Asia!), and a too-brief stop with more old friends in Glasgow, Scotland on the way home. We have been back for a few weeks, and it has been busy, busy, busy and really, just utter chaos. I mean, I haven't seen my kitchen table since last December, and we've actually gone and invited COMPANY for the weekend, which means I need to find the table! The tomatoes are out of the freezer, the kidney beans are soaking, preparations are underway for a vegetarian Mexican feast, but also I really must get in the clean laundry that's been hanging on the porch for at least 2 days before it rains, not to mention clean the bathroom, tidy the bedrooms, and find that darn kitchen table. I mean, there isn't even any room left on it to pile more stuff on.

And why do these things never get done? Well, because I figure Naomi will only be 4 once, this is her last summer before she starts Big Kid School, so given the choice of doing the dishes or taking her to the beach, I generally opt for the beach (I sooo need a dishwasher...). Besides, the weather has been fairly poor, so you really need to go to the beach when the opportunity presents itself. The dishes will wait (Trust me!).

Oh, and because I have 6 jobs, depending on how you're counting. And none are full-time, and none will make me a rich woman. Here's the list: photographer with home-based wholesale poster/postcard business (summer tourist season only), research assistant at Dalhousie University, Assistant Client Services Manager for the tax company (but seasonally laid off 'til January), model for my friend Christian's art classes (starts next week, and before you ask, no, I will not be doing it nude, not just yet anyway. Thought I'd go for scantily clad.), and the latest: instructor of photography, yoga and active play for kids. I start teaching kids workshops next week through our local recreation centre - and I'm very excited. I have a huge pile of books I took out of the library to prepare myself. The funny thing is, the only thing I've ever taught anybody was sociology, and that was to university students (and frankly many of them were a bit bored I think), so this will be a bit of a challenge. But I took my first photography workshop at Woozles children's bookstore when I was 8 years old (I still have the pictures I shot too!), so I thought this would be a good idea. And job number six, writing my cookbook. Yet I feel like I'm forgetting something...oh yes! It is 7 jobs! I recently listed with a casting agency, and got called to work as an extra on the cable show "G-Spot" less than a week after I signed up! Hollywood (Bollywood?) awaits...And then there are the poledancing classes I've been taking, definitely not work, but cuts into my time.

So, busy as a bee. No time for laundry, toilet brushes, sock darning...

Sunday, 27 April 2008

Still here...

It may appear as though I had abondoned this site, but I assure all that this is not the case. Rather, I have been so busy, I haven't found a moment to keep in touch (or to keep up with the dishes, laundry, general housework...). Classes have ended for the year (hooray!), but I have yet to finish my last two assignments - hopefully by the end of this week it will all become a distant, fading memory...

The past year has been a particularly challenging one. It had been 8 years since I last graduated university, and my currrent MSc program in community health and epidemiology has been a real change from my previous areas of study. I like a challenge, but many things made it hard that I wasn't expecting. Although the course work is both intersting and demanding, the most difficult part of adjusting to school life again was coming back as a 'mature' student. The majority of students I went to school with everyday are a posse of bright-tailed, bushy-eyed young 'uns that both individually and collectively seem to be lacking in two areas I find important in fellow humans: a sense of humour and a sense of irony. They also are rather self-absorbed and lacking in plain old-fashioned manners. Now I have lived all over the world, and come into contact with a wide variety of people in my time, making friends from all sorts of backgrounds and ages, both younger and older. I completely fail to comprehend why I don't seem to get along with anyone in my program, but I have decided, after much agonizing and self-punishment in the matter, that I don't give a shit, and who needs 'em. Now that I have completed 6 out of eight courses, this isn't much of an issue anymore. It doesn't help that I have had difficulties with members of faculty as well, and am in the process of filing a grievance against one of my profs. Yes, I'm sure I am well loved in the halls...but here's the thing: I let too many people push me around in my undergraduate degree, and even my last master's program, and I'm not having it anymore. I am here to stand up for myself (so deal with it!).

Surprisingly, the being a mom part wasn't the biggest challenge, but then I have the best kid in the world! She does wish I had more time to spend with her, but she's so easygoing and independent that she isn't too hard to work around. I do try to take 'quality activity' breaks with her as often as I can even when I'm in the middle of writing papers, etc. Hopefully by the end of this week my last assignments will be done, and I can finally relax (this term has really been hell), and take more time to spoil my little one. We start with a trip to our new favourite place on Saturday, the Spryfield Lions Wave Pool (www.halifax.ca/Recreation/williamspry.html). We went 2 weekends ago for the first time, and had the best family outing I can remember for ages, probably since last summer. And the flyer came in the mail that Jellystone Park (www.campjellystone.com), also known as Yogi Bear Camp in our house, will be open in a couple of weeks - Naomi's favourite place last summer. I believe we will have to become members this year.

But before we can camp with Yogi, we will be off to Europe! Mid-May will see us fly across the ocean to visit Michael's mum and family, and of course our friends. It was a very spontaneous decision, but we need a break from our lives here so badly, especially now that Nepal has to be put off - that was what we had been focusing on since September, our Great Escape. It is a big disappointment that we can't get there just yet. A trip to Northern Ireland is not quite as exotic, but it has been 4 years since we were there, when Naomi was just 4 months old. There will be lots of great things to do, like go to the Zoo, Belfast Castle, the Botanic Gardens near my old office at Queen's University. We also plan to take a trip up north to Portrush and Giant's Causeway, where I have only been once, and without my camera! I am very excited, as I will be able to see a lot of old friends. My darling Susan has had TWO babies since I was last there (Natasha aged 21 months, and a very special welcome to Marcus John Joseph, born 13 days ago, 8 lbs, 8 ozs),and Sister Sarah has taken her vows in her Cistercian order at St. Mary's Abbey, County Waterford, where I will also be visiting. Sarah is one of several friends I missed on my last visit, making it 8 years since I've seen her. That will be a very special visit, and I am especially happy to be going down south to see her, while my other girlfriend has said she can travel from the South to Belfast to coincide with our visit. Hopefully I'll catch everyone from my days at Queen's on this visit.

Saturday, 8 March 2008

How many more ways can my body fail me?

As if it isn't bad enough that I require 3 medications a day to control my migraines and chronic daily headache --and by control, I mean I still get maybe 6-10 migraines a month, sometimes daily for a week at a time, just less than before and fortunately less intense most of the time-- bad enough that I go through thousands of dollars' worth of prescription drugs for acute migraines and pain in general (thank god for health insurance), bad enough that I don't dare have more babies while on the meds I take due to potential harm to the fetus (which absolutely breaks my heart as I would love to have more children--I try and wean myself off the pills from time to time, but the headaches always get worse, and 3 neurologists have advised me to stick with them. I'm waiting to see a 4th neurologist to try out Botox migraine therapy...), bad enough I require treatment for ongoing bladder problems (a minor irritant in comparison to the migraines, but still)--in addition to all this we now add three additional problems: after a second infection in my left ear several weeks ago, I still can't hear properly (unless you count the very loud ringing sound), and am waiting for an appointment with a specialist who will likely have to surgically drain it (ew!); I recently went to the dentist and discovered not only that I need my wisdom teeth out, but that I have a load of cavities which may in fact be a side-effect of my medications; but last and best of all, last week I participated in a research study comparing bone density of "normal controls" to patients with multiple sclerosis. I was supposed to be one of the normal controls, when the researchers discovered that I scored in the bottom 3% for bone density, with a score putting me at high-risk for osteoporosis (the good news is I fell off my chair yesterday and did not break my hip). I have since been referred for additional testing and may have to take even more meds for the rest of my life. Great. I'm only in my 30s, what the hell?!! I take more drugs than most seniors, and apparently am developing a senior's body too.

As if to shame me further, everyone I go to university with runs, bikes, etc. Half the people in my class run marathons. Because I take beta blockers for the migraines, I don't do cardio or stairs very well, and my academic department is on the 4th floor. I'm the only one who takes the elevator (I refer to it as my private elevator)--but I always walk down the stairs.

So how can a woman with the health of a 70 year old be seriously contemplating a 3-4 month trip to Nepal, with its hills, mountains, poor health conditions, all the walking and climbing involved just getting around, even if you aren't there to trek? Because I refuse to be a slave to my failing health. I will not let my failing body get the better of me. I will visit Ayurvedic doctors, witchdoctors and any other Nepali medicine men that can offer me a snake oil cure for headaches. I vow to work on my weaknesses and prepare for the very challenging and different lifestyle we will be leading when we get there. I need to increase my yoga (Naomi likes it too!), and work on my walking/stairclimbing. I hate this wather, but as it warms up Michael and I promised each other we'd start hiking and walking more to get me ready. I need some support from him to do it too. I can be ferociously lazy. Delaying our trip may be a blessing in disguise, as it gives me the summer to get more active, in addition to the time we need to save and fundraise.

Tuesday, 4 March 2008

Sh!t happens

Of course date night was not to be. It did begin to snow, and the barometric pressure gave Michael a migraine, so we went home :-(
Once he felt a bit better we snuggled up on the couch and watched The Omen. He told me he first saw this when he was young, and it nearly put him off the idea of ever having children. Fortunately he changed his mind on that one.

Sunday, 2 March 2008

Date Night (no I don't mean fruit)

Well, tonight is supposed to be date night, that rare occasion when Michael and I spend time together after dark outside the house together sans enfant. I can't actually remember the last time this took place. Quality time for us is generally an hour or two when our schedules don't collide spent in comfy clothes on the couch in front of the TV. Usually Naomi is laughing and tickling and crawling all over us. Sometimes we have a conversation of substance when driving together in the car, if we're driving together in the same car that is. Somedays we only pass each other in opposite lanes on the highway, with Michael working nights and my classes during the day. Poor Naomi has two very exhausted parents a lot of the time.

So the plan is to go to the movies in an actual theatre, with movie theatre popcorn and everything (oh how I love that neon yellow stuff that is movie theatre popcorn!). I think the last movie I saw in a theatre with Michael was...I'm thinking...we saw Sicko on video...nope, it's not coming to me. We definitely went to the movies with friends on New Year's Eve, 2006! That's also the last time we did anything as a couple with other people. Pretty sad indeed. We have no life. Or we have very solitary lives for a married couple, which is a big reason why we need to get to Nepal. Now at least we have a shared dream again, and even that is already bringing us closer together when we were starting to drift apart. It's just so important to have something to look forward to. When everything becomes day-in, day-out, hum-drum doldrums, you have to find a point of light shining on the horizon, and focus hard to get you through.

This is all in the event that it doesn't snow again, of course, as it did last night, causing me yet another NDE (near death experience), as a truck lost control and nearly hit me on the drive home.